I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
