READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
