So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
