Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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