Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize