The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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