Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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