she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
