I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
