false alarm. still invincible.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
