You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
