New invention idea: vibrating tampons
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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