i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I AM VODKA MAN
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
