when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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