how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
