I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
