Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
