dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
