You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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