after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
