watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
