I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
