someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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