I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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