then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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