do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
