Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
