It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize