Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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