Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
