I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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