1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
