so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize