I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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