...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
In America we eat man semen.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize
