Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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