Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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