Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
