When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
