I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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