I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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