They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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