Can i not drive my cunt home
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
