Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
