you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I deserve this hangover.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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