i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
