Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
do nipples grow back?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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