halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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