Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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