I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
