her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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