I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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