just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
