At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
