I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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