So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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