Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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