Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
