He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
