do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
