i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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