Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Ladies don't puke and tell
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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