We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
